Consulting for Parents
As parents, we all want the best for our children. There is so much to choose from and so much well-meaning advice, that often it leaves us confused. I remember grappling with issues such as, will I spoil my baby by picking him up as soon as he cries, should I let my son play with guns, or how do I raise a well-adjusted son.
Common Challenging Behaviours
In previous workshops or mentoring activities, parents and guardians have identified a number of challenging behaviours.
- I can't get my son to listen to me. In the end I have to repeat myself and often have to raise my voice to get any response at all.
- I often get frustrated because I just can't seem to get my daughter to do what I want her to do. It always seems to wind up in an argument.
- I am concerned because the twins are so disrespectful. They always leave things in a mess and are often use language that is not appropriate.
- When my son doesn't get his way, he throws a fit. I just feel that I should be better able to control him.
- I am worried about my kid hitting or biting others. He hits other children if he wants something and has also hit me when I tell him to stop.
Lifelong Learn has helped a number of parents cope with challenging behaviours in the past. Help has been provided in a variety of ways.
- Workshops: Workshops have been giving within local jurisdictions, but also via Webinars. Each workshop is prepared in accordance with expectations of the target group and provided with print-based resources to consolidate strategies discussed.
- Mentoring: Often parents have specific concerns and questions that they would like to deal with over time. Lifelong learn provides opportunities to guide parents in dealing with specific problems by providing parents with specific strategies over time. Strategies are presented in a logical sequence to ensure success. Mentoring has been very effective both in face-to-face situations, but also through email contact.
- Development and Provision of Specific Resource Guides: In the past, some parents have requested a detailed guide to deal with their child’s challenging behaviours. These guides have been developed specifically for that particular situation, but also keeping in mind the circumstances particular to that family.
Marilyn's and David's Case Study
Marilyn’s parents often came to visit. They especially liked to play with the two grandchildren, but were very verbal about how Marilyn and David should raise their children. They felt that Jordan, the baby was being spoiled because his parents always picked him up when he cried. They also felt that Jason, the two-year old, should be taught to listen better. It got to the point that Marilyn started to dread her parents’ visit.
Marilyn and David decided to attend a workshop given by LifelongLearn in their area. They were very relieved to hear that how they had been raising their children, was indeed appropriate and meaningful to raising well-adjusted children. They also received a handout that addressed the issues that they faced in simple form with solid research support to share with Marilyn’s parents. It provided opportunities to open discussions and eventually led to acceptance of the grandparents to Marilyn’s and David’s approach.